While you were all busy cheering on the Warriors this past week (Cleveland fans, please see yourselves out immediately) and contemplating whether anyone actually looks good in Golden State yellow (the answer is no), we generously took some time out of our rigorous viewing schedules and compiled some top tech newsbites for you:
Somewhere, a Target PR intern scheduled their first press release this week. We’re going to assume it was also their last. Whoops.
Whoever called Mayweather v. Pacquiao the fight of the decade definitely did not anticipate Apple Music v. Spotify. In one corner, Taylor Swift and Drake. In the other, everyone who’s been listening to music since iTunes stopped being a thing in 2011.
Happy Friday and first day of May! As your day filled with Justin Timberlake memes winds to a close, let’s have a look at what you may have missed in the world of tech:
Drones are helping the relief effort after the earthquake in Nepal by identifying obstructed roads or damaged infrastructure. (Proving that tech sometimes actually can save the world.)
Apple confirmed that the new Apple Watch may not work properly for those with tattoos. Bay Area hipsters everywhere are outraged and canceling their orders en masse over what they’re calling #TattooGate. Just kidding; they probably don’t care.
The secret is out! The founder of anonymous/failed social app Secret announced the company is shutting down for good and selling his Ferrari. Ironically, most employees found out on Secret.
Are they or aren’t they? Rumor had it this week that Salesforce has hired bankers to field a potential takeover offer…for a discounted price of $44 billion!
We can’t slide into the weekend without taking a moment to consider some of the truly baffling things tech companies did this week. And with April Fools Day, you can be sure shenanigans were at an all time high. So we have no time to waste:
As an April Fools Day prank, Uber jokingly announced Uber Boat. Just in case you were interested in recreating any Gilligan’s Island fantasies you might have.
Plenty of companies thought pranks involving selfies would be funny. Can we all agree they weren’t that funny?
In a staggering example of not getting it – Jeb Bush went around this week defending a controversial bill while hitting up Silicon Valley for cash. Is there a phrase for the opposite of preaching to the choir?
Microsoft announced plans to remove “Do Not Track” as the default setting in their upcoming browsers. I am sure this will go over well with the Internet.
While we’ve all had a lot of fun Periscoping and Meerkatting through life these past few weeks, we may be in for quite a shock when our phone bills come in. These hot new apps chew through data like nobody’s business.
That wraps it up – hopefully you survived April Fools without getting pranked too hard. Check back next week for more tech and PR news.
CES – the mecca for new age technology, gadgets and… beer drinking? That’s right, startup PicoBew wants to make the whole brewing process a lot easier, leaving more precious time to enjoy your masterpiece. Now that’s some innovation right there.
It’s been an exciting week! An election and the partnership of Microsoft and Dropbox? We’re still trying to decide which couple-name is best: Microbox or Dropsoft. On second thought, let’s talk about the tech stories you missed while you were trying to figure out the difference between the judges on your ballot (don’t act like you knew):
We never get sick of totally wacky futuristic products, like this 3D food printer known as the Foodini, but honestly after watching their video, we’d be fine just printing an image of a pizza on a piece of paper and eating that instead.
Your home could be one step closer to ‘smart’ if you purchase the new Amazon Echo, a sort of universal controller for your home that obeys voice commands. Careful about going on vacation though. When you leave the house, Echo, Cortana and Siri throw massive ragers.
Did Taylor Swift just take a huge stand against the streaming music industry? This week, everyone’s favorite “down-to-earth” megastar pulled all of her albums from Spotify, right in the middle of the buzz generated by her new album. We should stop to think about this genuinely important issue, but first – let’s debate which famous exes her songs are all about!
Researchers at the University of Washington successfully demonstrated mind-to-mind communication. Yep. Telepathy. Come on guys – How are we supposed to make clever remarks when it’s this on the nose. No. We literally can’t.
Do you miss Cash Cab? Of course you do – you’re not a monster! If you’re in San Francisco, you’ll be glad to know that the next UberPOOL you take could be an Uber CashPOOL – a surprise round of trivia for the duration of your ride, with cash prizes. Start brushing up on U.S. State Capitals!
That’s all for this week’s edition of Wait! What? Enjoy the weekend, and take comfort in the knowledge that we will catch you up on the week’s best tech stories next Friday – because we care…and because we can’t help ourselves.
Wait, what? It’s already Friday? While you were in the front yard dumping water on yourself in the name of ALS, here are a few pieces of tech goodness you may have missed:
Steve Ballmer loves Microsoft. But not enough to let it get in the way of his new duties as the owners of the Los Angeles Clippers. After all, he did pay $2 billion for them.
The creators of Flappy Bird have introduced a new single-tap iOS game: Swing Copters! Say goodbye to your free time and hello to this sure-to-be equally as aggravating game.
Guess we WON’T be saying goodbye to selfies anytime soon…in China at least. Sony is introducing perfume bottle-shaped selfie cameras.
Gone are the days of iris scanning and fingerprinting as human identification tactics! Here come body odor, heartbeats and even brain waves!
Professional sports leagues around the country plan to add Wi-Fi to their stadiums. They’re hoping to draw millennials from behind their TV screens and to the stadiums, where they can promptly post photos of their seats to Instagram.
Read something that made you say “Wait! What?” this week? Leave a comment or hit us up @BlancandOtus!